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This is one I hear often at meetings. “I was a functioning alcoholic – I had a job, went to work, made money,” etc. etc.
I can’t say that I find it funny that I feel differently about using the word “functional” in the same sentence with alcoholic. Well, heck yeah, you had a job – you needed to make money to drink didn’t you?
Take a look at the first step. It says “our lives had become unmanageable.” In the 12 and 12 it says “we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.” Just exactly what about unmanageable, what about obsession for destructive drinking, relates to “functional?”
In “The Doctor’s Opinion” in The Big Book on pg. xxviii it says, “once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.”
Is there anything, ANYTHING, about that statement that sounds functional?
I didn’t think so… I was taught that, by definition, alcoholic means dysfunctional. There is no such thing as a “functional, drinking, alcoholic!
Reality check…
Mark
1161 days ago
[...] began writing here at A Dozen Steps one of the more controversial posts I’ve made was about a “Functional Alcoholic.” I feel I am able to speak on the topic because I was more than happy, as a newly sober person, to [...]
Mark,
I offer my apologies for anything I’ve said that has slighted you.
My comment on the “former” [alcoholic stuff] was simply a response to you saying “which you cannot be doing by your last statement” (which was borne of my ‘former alcoholic’ reference). I truly believe that alcoholism, at least for some, is a simple physical addiction with no deeper psychological roots.
We’ve all got our own row to hoe and yours and mine seem to be somewhat different right now – perhaps that will change.
This is your blog and I’m not here (very seriously) to make waves. I appreciate that you’ve published and responded to my submissions. Perhaps someone will recognize themselves in them…
I wish you the very best of luck in your endeavor to abstain. I hope the same for myself.
Well, okay then Matt… please, by all means, go do what you have to do. I have no problem with you doing whatever it takes to save your life.
Just stop trying to bring me down your road. Been there, done that, didn’t work for me, not wasting any more time there.
I’m recovering because it works for me. I’m not helpless or despairing. If you have a problem with that – guess who’s problem it will remain?
Love the character assassination (doubt you’ll see it that way). Brainwashing as evidenced by my writings. LMAO. To be cliche – my brain damn well needed washing (and, it was just like yours is).
BTW – why are you soooo hung up on this “former” alcoholic stuff? No one has mentioned it here – except you!
Oh, and Mark, one more thing. Yes, there is such a thing as a former alcoholic. I know some of them that have been off the sauce for many years and have no desire to begin drinking again.
The term ‘recovering alcoholic’ is used to reinforce that idea of helplessness and despair I mentioned above.
Mark,
I have precious little interest in the culture of helplessness promulgated by AA and the twelve steps. I am not helpless and my life is not unmanageable.
I have a physical addiction not unlike addiction to nicotine or other drugs. The reward center in my brain is screwed up after years of drinking and doesn’t function normally in the absence of alcohol.
I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to hear other drunks talk about how screwed up their lives are or were. I want to break a physical addiction. After that since I know that I am prone to this addiction, I will not be able to safely drink. Just like cigarettes – I know if I smoke one, I’ll be smoking a pack a day within a week.
I believe the right treatment for me will end up being aversion therapy (by far the most effective treatment) at a place like Schick-Shadel and either naltrexone or Campral to jumpstart the rewiring of the dopamine machinery in my brain. I am making arrangements to begin all of this before the end of the year.
I don’t think AA is a bad thing and it certainly works for some people. But I do believe it engages in a bit of brainwashing, as evidenced by some of your writings.
Sorry Matt – no sale…
Control… therein lies the fallacy of your well and long thought out reasoning. It doesn’t work and it won’t work on me or anyone else who is truly practicing a program of recovery which you cannot be doing by your last statement.
It is impossible to get sober when you’re drinking. You are using an alcoholic mind in your thoughts. An alcoholic mind cannot distinguish the truth from the false. I know – I’ve been there.
I’d offer you the same thinking – about “Functional” being a misnomer – quote “Why not just accept that the term means what it means and leave it at that?”
But you want to disagree. Any “good” alcoholic would want to disagree to maintain “permission” to continue to drink. As you do…
Sorry, but your reasoning isn’t valid. Please – go to a meeting and work the Twelve Steps. Then you’ll understand.
Mark, I think you might be missing the real meaning of the term ‘Functional Alcoholic’. The term just refers to the fact some alcoholics are able to control their addiction just enough to function normally in other aspects of their lives (work, school, family, social, etc.). Of course the alcohol addiction itself is a ‘dysfunction’, and nobody using the term ‘Functional Alcoholic’ would argue otherwise.
Not everyone who is addicted to booze has “their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve”. I know this is true because I am a functional alcoholic. I’m addicted to alcohol and crave it immensely. I just make sure that I feed my craving at times and places where it won’t disrupt anything else. I think Kim (above) was saying the same thing about herself. That doesn’t mean she & I aren’t alcoholics. It just means that we have enough control of it to choose the time and place to start drinking. After that first drink, I basically lose the ability to say ‘no’ to more.
Does the alcohol have any effect on other areas of my life? You betcha. It can’t be good for my health, the time I spend drinking/intoxicated could be put to better use, etc…
It seems to me that you (and Dr. Neill) are changing the commonly-understood meaning of “Functional Alcoholic” so that you can insist that such people don’t exist. Why not just accept that the term means what it means and leave it at that?
And no, there is no portion of the definition of ‘alcoholic’ the demands dysfunction (again, other than the alcohol addiction itself). The term simply refers to “continued excessive OR compulsive alcohol consumption”.
I want and need to quit drinking. And when I do, I’ll be a former alcoholic.
Marybeth,
Hi. Thanks for stopping by…
I am not a qualified professional. That being said I can offer my opinion subject to it being wrong. I think you’re right about the younger mans resentment. His father doesn’t sound like an alcoholic. He may simply be a heavy drinker.
Heavy drinkers can be functional, imho. I don’t personally believe that an alcoholic can be functional because by the definition I understand an alcoholic is disfunctional.
I think you’d be better off finding a professional who understands both drug addiction and alcoholism – a psychiatrist with a medical degree.
If you cannot do that my next thought would be for you to attend Al-Anon so that you can find the way to peace of mind in the middle of the obvious chaos.
Good luck,
Mark
My 21 year old step son has accused his father of being a functional alcoholic, and I’m looking for information as to what this really means. My husband is 52 and along with his friends has been drinking regularly since the age of 14. He doesn’t “need” to drink in the sense that if we’re away or in a place where there isn’t any booze, he’s ok with that, but he does drink daily, I would say 4 drinks per night, 1 shot of vodka mixed into about 12 oz of club soda. He does not display any of the symptoms noted (not aggressive, angry, fidgety, no sex problems, never misses work, relaxed and happy, fully engaged parent and husband) and my stepson is going to NA for pill addiction, so I’m not sure if there is a real problem here or if it’s just a young man’s resentment of watching his dad do something he can’t — my husband’s health is excellent — is there some definition to what a functional alcoholic is that would better help me understand what this means? If he shouldn’t be drinking, I’ll get him to stop, but it’s never really seemed like an issue until now, though I will say that his ex wife, also a pill addict, regularly accused him of being an alcoholic, however, I believe the misery of their marriage (she’s also bi-polar and a child abuser, which is why their son has always lived with us — he has no relationship at all with his mother but demonstrates a lot of her behavior problems) was a main motivator to “dull the pain” with booze during the years of that marriage… any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
If that works for you and offers you peace of mind – please – so be it. I’m not here to defend my beliefs but to express them and keep a conversation going.
If I offered my personal opinion, I’d say that your Mom isn’t a real alcoholic, therefore the topic matter doesn’t really apply.
I do appreciate a differing view btw…
I understand the point of this blog but strongly disagree. My mom is a different kind of alcoholic. She only drinks in the evening after work, so is “functional” & productive during the day. However she has not gone ONE DAY with out AT LEAST two large glasses of strait tequila in the evenings for at least 25 years. She comes home desperate for it and won’t talk to you until she has that glass in her hand and has started sipping. She doesn’t drink until she passes out, and doesn’t seem sloppy drunk. It seems to me that the term “functional” alcoholic describes our situation well. Now that I am much older & on my own, she keeps a full bottle always stocked in my house just in case she stops by after work. I am having trouble getting her to see her problem because of your point exactly… She doesn’t see herself as out of control enough to be an alcoholic. I am writing this for all the people who see your blog & think that they have no issues unless they are drinking from sun up till they pass out.
1478 days ago
[...] Mark comments in his short article entitled "A Functional Alcoholic?" on the fact people often say at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, "I was a functioning alcoholic." http://www.adozensteps.com/a-functional-alcoholic/ [...]
1541 days ago
[...] “I was a functional alcoholic.” [...]
Okay Kim, then I’ll surmise that you’re telling me you’re not an alcoholic. I can live with that…
Next…
You say that an alcoholic will take a drink no matter what. I know when to drink and when not to and have never had a problem saying no to alcohol in a room full of drinking people. My problem is I drink when I am alone
Yes, Gini, I think that is a distinct probability though I am not the final word, he would be the final word. If you might be having a hard time with it, a possible help to you could be a phone call to Al-Anon.
I lived with a man who drank every day and went to work everyday. All his social activities revolved around drinking and he refused to do anything where alcohol was not available. He rarely appeared “drunk” eventhough there were times when he would become irritated and argumentative at the end of the evening after drinking. Do you thin he was an alcoholic? I’m having a hard time dealing with this possibility!!
1931 days ago
[...] Mark comments in his short article entitled “A Functional Alcoholic?” on the fact people often say at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, “I was a functioning alcoholic.” http://www.adozensteps.com/a-functional-alcoholic/ [...]
Well, I think that not everyone may be proud of his will-power so 12 Step groups of any type may be exist just for those who can not….
Lene,
Thank you for continuing the conversation :-)
My initial reaction to your thoughts is – from the ABC’s on pg. 60 in The Big Book.
”(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.”
I find it to be true for me that ”people” who have the disease of alcoholism cannot, by their will power or any other human method, relieve their alcoholism. They have placed themselves beyond human aid and it requires an Act of Providence for them to get sober.
Now, AA may not be the only way, but any way requires help from a power greater than us, for sure. That still keeps the ”people” power out of the equation.
Don’t you think that – were people powerful enough to end alcoholism, 12 Step groups of any type would not exist at all?