Five Tips for Halloween

Halloween is the child’s New Year’s Eve, the mother of a friend of mine observed, and it’s true. A night starry with a number of significant points: unlimited candy, free candy, dressing up, roaming around, staying up late. Some kids spend most of the year anticipating

Photo/Jill Cornfield

Halloween, but mine don’t. Ned occasionally pipes up with a costume idea in July or wonders in September if it’s almost here, but he doesn’t stay on message for too long. And Alex, of course, ignores the whole thing until it’s time to dress up.

It’s a good thing we make our own costumes in this family, because I don’t think Alex (a boy who refuses to wear any trousers but khakis these days, who for about three years would wear any t-shirt as long as it was black) would be willing to put on some strange garment made of unfamiliar fabric. Our most successful costume was the year of the cowboy. Ned had become devoted to “Toy Story,” so a Woody costume was a natural. I liked it, because he looked so cute in jeans and a yellow plaid shirt that we had anyway. I made the vest out of white and black felt. Then we realized Alex could easily be a cowboy, too. (He was willing to wear jeans back then.) We even had a black vest to glue white patches onto — and Alex was willing to wear it.

For a few years Alex agreed to wear regular clothes with a bit of fiddling. He was a fireman (yellow raincoat slicker and red fireman hat). He was a skateboard dude (shorts and checkered Vans). He was a doctor (black pants, long white shirt). This year, though, I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. Maybe something like this would work. My sister thinks it’s funny. I guess I sort of do, too. (Check Zazzle.com for other Halloween/autism-themed t-shirts.)

We generally talk about Halloween for a few days beforehand, and how we’ll dress up and knock on neighbors’ doors (but NOT go into neighbors’ apartments). Alex doesn’t like candy, but he does love chocolate, and Halloween always nets some. So that’s another selling point. We discuss with Alex how we’ll dress up because it’s fun to pretend be something or someone unusual. Something that works with Alex is to put him in front of a full-length mirror so he can see how he looks when he’s in character. He enjoys this a lot, and I should remember to do this when it’s not Halloween, but I’d like him to wear something he doesn’t want to wear. Like a winter coat.

Halloween talking points

• discuss in advance
• we knock — say “trick-or-treat!” — we don’t go in
• chocolate!
• it’s fun to pretend we’re someone or something else
• we’ll look in the mirror to see how we look in something unfamiliar