Is Guilt a Symptom of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Guilt creeps up on all of us. We are too sick to go into work. Or we don’t have enough energy to clean the house. We aren’t able to “be there” for our friends and families. We are always saying “no” to people who need our help. My biggest guilt factor, is “I believe that I did this to myself”. How do you respond to these nagging voices?

If you are like me, then you feel guilty ~ really guilty. It pains me to think that I have let someone down again..let alone myself. How do I cope? Well, I don’t think that I do. At least for a really long time I didn’t cope.

Now, I understand what my boundaries are. I know that its probably not a great idea for me to help someone move, but I will bake them housewarming cookies (Lisa, if you are reading this-those cookies are for you!!!!). I am way past the point of feeling guilty for not having washed the dishes for a couple of days…..and vacuuming – well who cares! I have better things to do with my time. But these are the little things… .these are the ones that should be easy to say -”ahhhh no need to feel guilty, this stuff will always be there”.

What about the tougher ones? Is there a solution to every problem? In this day and age, there are services to do everything for us. If a holiday or birthday comes around, and we are too sick to go shopping, well there’s always online stores, and catalogues, or personal shoppers. I even know people who use those services, and they aren’t sick at all….they are just busy. And they don’t feel guilty about it one bit! Special meals can be catered. We can bring in people to clean the house. Parenting problems (not a subject I am familiar with) that arise, can be handled. I mean problems only come up one at a time, right? Like I said, I am not a parent, and am not even going to suggest how to deal with children, when you are feeling awful. I am confident however, that there is a solution. Just need to think outside the box a little.

For my own “huge” nagging statement….well, I do my best to get healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is no point looking backwards. All we have is the now. Telling myself that, doesn’t always work. But when I am able tolisten and understand that statement, the guilt disappears, and my life is open to all sorts of possibilities.

If we continue to feel guilty over everything, its just going to make us feel worse. None of us want that.

I tend to feel guilty on my bad days. Yes, I still get them, and this is what I try to do when they happen. First, everyone in my life (except for the people I work with) knows that when its a bad day, I will just say no to anything that is going on, and I will cancel at the last minute. And they are all ok with that. My friends have all seen me when I am feeling rough, and so they all understand. So no guilt. I will feel bad maybe for missing out on something….but outings are easily rescheduled. The next step is to celebrate your accomplishments. If you have done everything that you set out to do that day, then you should totally reward yourself. How you choose to reward, is up to you. But, you should also feel good about finishing something. Anything. I don’t care if the only thing that you were able to accomplish was having a shower. Feel good that you were able to do something to make yourself feel a little bit better.

There is a pretty interesting article (albeit back from Jan.) on CFIDS.org about guilt, and working through it. They share some really great tips, on how to deal..

Now that you have read this entry….do something good for you.