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I am not going to let this topic fizzle out now that it has hit the media once again. It will fizzle but I am sure it will be debated again and again. Does Day Care really cause bad behavior in kids? Some people think it is only a bunch of hype. We also have to remember the current study that was done, proves it to be true BUT… BUT it did say it was slight. They also admitted there were much more influential factors that caused poor behavior in both girls and boys and across all socioeconomic classes nationwide.
But that is only a general assessment of the damage. So this tells us that there are much better Day Care facilities and at the same time it tells us there are far worse. So, even though the average is “somewhat” acceptable we should be focusing on the far worse facilities. We cannot allow what has become so ingrained in our every day parenting lives to become cheapened because the average Day Care facility assessment is “close enough”. What about those children in the facilities that only breed poor behavior? Do we sit back and let those places continue to pump out bad kid after bad kid?
But like one commenter on my previous post had said, “I don’t know that day-care in itself causes these problems, but it does remove the consistent, parental influence that’s needed to reinforce good behavior.”
This brings up a good point and I think Jared nailed it. So what is it they are NOT doing? I raise 5 kids on my own and I know there are certain laws that prohibit more than 5 kids per Day Care Staff member. So what is it they are not doing that I personally do with my own kids? For one I know I kiss and hug my kids. This is something that staff members can not do and get away with without lawsuits. And who wants some stranger hugging and kissing your kids? We have lost a lot of trust these days from all the pedophiles out there.
But what other things? Are these day care facilities breeding poor behavior really doing their jobs? Maybe some feel it is time to socialize with co-workers and gossip all day leaving the kids to run around and are not completely supervised? I mean who really knows. It would have to be tested at each Day Care.
But do you think it could be parents?? I mean let’s face it. We don’t like other people telling our kids how to act. We certainly do not want other people spanking our kids. I think it has to be the combination of that and those baby sitters don’t really want the responsibility.
What do you think? I certainly think something needs to be done despite the average consensus that it is “ok”. It is good on an overall scale but what about those places that are far below average? Isn’t it worth all the effort in the world to raise our kids… the future of America… the best way we can with the best facilities?
hi,
great article.
I, for one, would LOVE to have my kid kissed and hugged at daycare!! Are you serious? Is that outlawed?
That’s. Just. Nuts.
Inside Fatherhood » More on Day Care and Poor Behavior…
I am not going to let this topic fizzle out now that it has hit the media once again. It will fizzle but I am sure it will be debated again and again. Does Day Care really cause bad behavior in kids?…
Wow, Gayle. It must be really hard to not tell those selfish parents off! At the least you know those kids are getting your good attention. You are right about not being able to save every child that comes through your door, but it sure won’t be for a lack of trying. Thanks for the insight.
James
In an ideal world, parents and daycare providers would all be upstanding, caring individuals. The reality is that there are good and bad daycare providers as well as good and bad parents. Each family has to find the situation that works best for them. What my family is comfortable with might not be right for my friend’s family. But I think we can all agree that if we are responsible for children, they should be our number one priority.
BTW, Gayle, I love your passion!! Those children are lucky to have you in their lives.
As a licensed childcare provider for nine years, I can tell you first hand that the number one influence in a child’s life is the child’s parents. The behavior problems I have come to me that way. How would you behave if you were a small child and knew you were at childcare so your mom didn’t have to mess with you? Remember, any attention, even negative attention, is still attention to a child.
Some parents expect childcare and schools to raise their children while they chase careers and cars. Then there is the flip side. The children who are here because the state pays their tuition to encourage the parents to get a job and take care of their families themselves. I have three children like that right now.
Everyday they come to daycare. Every day mom stays at home, goes running around with her friends, or heaven only knows what(I do because the woman is nuts enough to tell me). She doesn’t look for work, hasn’t for two years. She’s not an exception to the rule. I deal with it all the time. People have children and then don’t want to be responsible for them so I am a state paid surrogate parent to children who are still influenced more strongly by their home life than any effort I make to try to be a positive influence on their futures.
Yes, there is bad daycare. But I want the world to wake up and realize there are two sides to every story. I want people to realize that most of us do our very best for children who come from bad situations. Just because someone is a parent does not mean they are a saint and daycare is evil. I see plenty of parents who’s children are better off with someone else during the day. Are these the children that researchers are blaming childcare for their behavioral problems?
I have seven children in my daycare right now. Of those seven, four of them have parents who bring them to me on the taxpayers’ dime and go home, go to the movies, go tan, or worse………..get high.
Never ceases to amaze me when a parent brings their kids to me while they are on vacation because they just can’t get anything done with their kids around. I’ve had affluent parents go boating for the day, to the beach, etc and bring their kids to daycare. I’ve had parents who just can’t go to the store or do the laundry and handle their children. I kid you not. Lets start putting some of this blame back where it belongs. I give them guidance and structure but am the bad guy in the children’s eyes because there are no rules or guidance at home.
I can’t save every child that comes through my door, but I try. And as a mom, my kids were never, ever an inconvenience like a lot of the people I deal with. I can do my laundry with my kids around. I can buy groceries. And I spend a lot of time in tears of hurt and frustration at the situations these children are in, the selfishness of some parents, and my inability to make things better.
Also, depending on which news outlet that you read, you may have gotten different facts.
My children do get hugs in daycare and I am totally comfortable with that. They also know that daycare is daycare and mom is mom and dad is dad. There is no confusion.
Also, the study talks about quality of daycare, which is a highly subjective thing to measure.
That is a good point regarding correlation vs causation.
My question then would be does bad behavior correlate with kids who are not in day care just as much as those kids who ARE in day care?
Correlation and causation are not the same thing, this study does not prove anything to be true.
I don’t think the issue is hype, at all. I take exception to the inflammatory spin that the media puts on it.
I can only speak to my situation, but, my parental influence is not removed simply because I have a child at daycare.
I wholeheartedly agree with you that something should be done about inadequate facilities, the entire thing is a huge topic.